Ambition Isn't Foreplay

Being a creative woman with BIG DREAMS and MEGA VISION comes with its own hardships. There’s nothing more disheartening than coming up with incredible ideas and searching for collaboration, only to be met with delusional men who praise your talent and admire your ambition, just to belittle you when you express real desires to manifest those conversations. It’s a poisonous trait that can stall your momentum.

But this post isn’t about them.

It’s about recognizing toxic truths and moving onward and upward with grace by owning your self-worth.

Before moving to London, I found myself in a landslide of relationships, friendships, and situationships that slowly chipped away at my sense of significance. And if we’re being honest, so many of us end up stuck on that same hamster wheel, tirelessly chasing validation in places that were never meant to hold us.

It wasn’t until I lost my ex in 2019 that something finally clicked.

I realized I was wasting my life waiting for others to give me the respect I didn’t yet believe I deserved. And maybe you’ve felt that too? That quiet ache of hoping someone else would see your value before you fully claimed it yourself. Why is hindsight always 20/20?

In retrospect, the thought that those relationships were simply a manifestation of what I thought of myself was terrifying. But it also revealed something powerful: if I was capable of manifesting a reality where I wasn’t valued, then I was just as capable of creating one rooted in purposeful, nourishing connections.

So that’s what I forced myself to do. That’s why I hold my creativity so close to my heart.

My journey of self-discovery led me to my purpose. A purpose rooted in the desire to build worlds that foster reflection, growth, and empowerment.

What makes the experience of creation so powerful is that, in the process of manifesting, I’m forced to dismantle outdated versions of myself in order to create something new. That cycle is what teaches you who you really are. There is something deeply powerful about making things that remind people how beautiful the world can be, especially when you’re rebuilding yourself in the process.

As time has gone on, I’ve realized that much of this journey involves transmuting self-doubt into concepting, development, and execution, the very ingredients that have carried me through some of the hardest moments of my life.

Turning poems into short films.

Custom painting shoes and turning it into a brand.

Going back to school as a “mature student” to sharpen my skills in Creative Direction – A time and place where I learned the artful magnificence of bringing ideas to life.

Each navigation has played a role in elevating my self-worth. And if you’re walking your own winding path right now, know that every brave step counts, even the ones that feel invisible. I’m typing this out to remind myself too, because it’s easy to forget.

When the growing pains felt unbearable, those were the moments I was building endurance. Becoming aware of my weaknesses made me stronger, tougher, bolder, and more grounded in who I am and what I’m made of. This is when I learned how to keep showing up, even on days when getting out of bed felt like a ‘Fuck Off’ request.

So now, after all of that, when I find myself face to face with some bald-headed buffoon who thinks he can disguise half-hearted collaborative conversations as hookup attempts, I don’t feel small.

I laugh and walk away, because I’m reminded that what’s being offered is nothing more than wasted time at a table where my potential would slowly be corroded.

And that’s the whole point.

Staying in the presence of people who try to shrink your growth is the ultimate betrayal of your purpose.

So if you’re in this cycle right now, stop wasting your time.

Your ambition isn’t foreplay.